


Shall we begin?

by Diddle_Riddle, RZR_SK8



Series: Hot N Cold [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Bickering, Dialogue-Only, Edward is overdramatic, Feelings, Flirting, Just those boys trying to communicate, M/M, Some Humor, Teasing, While Jonathan shows slight manipulative behaviors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-01 00:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21295412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diddle_Riddle/pseuds/Diddle_Riddle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RZR_SK8/pseuds/RZR_SK8
Summary: But it was definitely a calculated course of action, Jonathan.Please, as if everything I do isn't calculated.Doctor isn't at all pleased with you.Oh really? I would have never said.
Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma
Series: Hot N Cold [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554850
Kudos: 7





	Shall we begin?

Oh no don't bring my grandmother on the topic, boy. It's only gonna make me angry.

That _was_ the intended purpose of the action, maybe slightly... Self destructive on my part.  
But it was definitely a calculated course of action, Jonathan.  
_Please_, as if everything I do isn't calculated.

Doctor isn't at all pleased with you.

Oh really? I would have never said.  
I don't need to be a genius to figure that out.  
Besides, you're rarely ever pleased.

Yes. I'm a demanding killjoy.  
That's established.

So you do know. _That's_ surprising.

Not gonna lie to myself, am I?  
There would have been no point in doing that.

Today is a day of confessions, is it? Am I _your_ therapist now?  
Something else on your conscience you want to tell Doctor Nygma?

To Hell with confessions.  
It will fill the damn page.

That's... fair.  
Of course I'm not expecting you to dig out all of the skeletons in your closet right now.  
That would take so very long.  
And the cleanup!  
Can you imagine?

It would take years. There's a reason why my laboratory and every hideouts are a mess.

The fact that you're keeping up with _jokes_ of all things is scary enough by itself.

Oh, am I scaring you little bird?

Little bird.  
Who do you think I am?  
One of the bat's kids?

Well that wouldn't have been an invention. He wants to adopt you as much as he wants to fuck you, Eddie dearest.

Please, don't... Insinuate such a thing.  
Do you think he fucks the Robins? I dearly hope not.

It's not an insinuation I'm afraid. It's a speculation based on observations.

Dear.  
I do not want to think about that.  
Can we not talk about _him_ right now?

Point for you.

Obviously.  
Thank you for killing the mood, Jonathan.

This is what I am born for.  
Ask anyone.  
It's true.

Yes, I'm quickly catching up to that notion.  
You do kill a lot of things.  
So I'm not surprised.

What a subtlety there, Edward.

Don't expect me to tiptoe around you.

I wouldn't know what to do with that, it's true.  
But just try not to be too much of a nuisance, if you want us to be colleagues.

Oh please. Besides it's not like you're the only option out there.  
True, you're a capable Rogue and a... brilliant man. But you're not the only one in Gotham.

Yes. I forgot the... worish part of your personality. I don't even know why I'm allowing you to come by when I am busy.  
And tell me again I am not "the only of my kind" and I assure you this won't end well for you, little boy. But since I'm in a good mood, I will give you the advise not to try this _ever_ with Pamela: she won't give you a warning if you happened to refer to her as someone ordinary.

_Worish?!_ I am not-  
Ugh.  
Thank you, I'm _smart_ enough to know what to say and what not to say in front of Pamela. And it's not like _she_ is ordinary.  
Besides, this is a treatment I reserve only to those who irritate me. I can be quite charming if I so please.

And seeing you getting all frustrated right now because you don't receive the kind of attention you expected is... supposedly charming?  
There's a confusion somewhere, you better analyze it, 'detective'.

Just because I don't show my charming side to you, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  
I don't need to charm you, doctor.  
I wouldn't lower myself like that.

I wonder who got to see those charms you claim to have, then. Since it's certainly not one of my esteemed colleagues. And certainly not the bats-and-birds.  
Observing your ego being bruised so easily is a fascinating view.  
Careful, though.  
It's a weakness the Arkham staff could use against you.

My ego is not bruised.  
And I don't need your advice, Crane.

Too bad. I was being nice.  
You may can't tell this at my expression, you'll learn to get when I act caring. It will be harder with Pam, but you seem to be resourceful. And since you're about to stay around in the business for a bit, well... There is no rush.  
Enjoy your stay.

You were being _nice?_  
Dick move Jonathan, dick move.  
I FEEL GUILTY  
YOU MANIPULATIVE PRICK

Yes I was being nice. That you doubted it is hurtful, child.  
A luck I learned how to grow immune to any... mean attempts from the outside world. I don't know how to look caring, but I _do_ like your company. This is not a trick, why would you think that?  
And... it would be a shame to waste your potential.

I didn't survive this long by believing the first person who acts nice towards me.

Words of wisdom you speak.

It's easier to trust someone when you know what they want from you.  
Someone who is nice for the sake of being nice is unpredictable. Besides being rare, especially here in Gotham.

Don't think I want anything from you. You have nothing to offer I value. The only reason I like having you around is because you are intelligent, and it's enjoyable to talk science and psychology with someone. Same reason as why I see Pamela and Jervis.  
You are of no particular use.  
But loosing you would be bothering.  
Therefore, I do hope you'll follow our lead to survive a little in this town.  
But if you don't... Well. Don't expect me to mourn you.

I'm unsure on how to take this.  
But this is more something I can work with.

Don't let others see, or tell them you feel 'unsure', child.  
It could be used against you.  
But as for how to take it? Well Edward, you are a genius for a reason. This is an alliance in the one you have everything to win and nothing to loose.  
I care about you. I would love to keep you around and see your progresses.


End file.
